When you have sex, you are saying, with your body, “I give myself completely to you”. Forget about anything masturbation or porn has taught you, if you have been struggling with those vices. Those vices are distortions of what sex within marriage is supposed to be.
Only in marriage can both you and your wife be naked without shame, so long as you are giving yourselves totally, freely, faithfully and fruitfully to each other. Only then can sex be an act of authentic love, which is the only type of love capable of absorbing shame.
A couple renews their wedding vows each time they have sex. It is an act that should mimic Jesus’ love for us, as He sacrificed Himself on the cross freely, faithfully, totally and fruitfully. There is nothing dirty about sex, sex can be a pure and beautiful act for those who practice Chastity. If you direct your sexual attractions, emotions and desires towards the dignity of woman, you are practicing Chastity.
To be chaste means to be moderate when it comes to your sexual passions. Being moderate is not equivalent to being mediocre, it means, with the help of God, you will direct your sexual passions towards love. By saying no to lust, you are saying “yes” to treating yourself and others with love, which does justice to the truth that people are not objects to be used to satisfy sexual desires. People are beings with free will and have the capacity to choose their own ends. To lust is to ignore a person’s free will and use them as an object, like you would a frying pan, and use them in whichever way you want. This dehumanizes the person, reducing them to mere body parts.
Chastity says “I respect that you were made in the image and likeness of God and you deserve to be treated like a human being, which means you deserve to be treated with love”. This reaffirms the other’s dignity or self worth and honors them. To lust is to dishonor the person and say “you are an object that I am going to use to satisfy myself”. Even if two people agree to use each other, they are just agreeing to dehumanize each other. Chastity says “I want to treat others with love so I may be free to love”. Only by practicing Chastity are we free to love our future wives. We will fall on our journey of practicing Chastity, we are human, but God is always there to lift us back up in the sacrament of Reconciliation. It is His grace that gives us the strength to start again and His grace that sustains us thereafter, if we take advantage of it.
Practice Chastity, as it is your guarantee to loving properly. Chastity, along with love of the truth and Charity, forms purity of heart. The pure of heart will see God. The pure of heart can joyfully give themselves freely to their spouse in marriage, and this will make sex what it is meant to be: an act of authentic love between a husband and wife, where they become one, and mimic God’s free, total, faithful and fruitful love for us. Sex has the potential to be full of joy, if both spouses practice Chastity.
For those who strive to practice Chastity, authentic love is always a possibility, as the chaste man is his own master and therefore is free to give himself in love. He is happy and joyful because he is not a slave of the flesh. This pure freedom is his armor against Satan and he wears it proudly, while at the same time never forgetting that it is a gift from God, and therefore never ceases to give Him praise. Jesus calls all men to live chaste lives and it is our honor to carry out His wish.
As men, we thank you Jesus for calling us to live out this virtue and in times of distress we will call out to You. You are our armor, and if we put You on, we have nothing to fear.
God, guard our souls always.
Mother Mary, keep us pure.
“Jesus, I Trust In You”